Cologne
Posted: August 26, 2005 Filed under: BLOG | Tags: festivals Comments OffAll the festivals I’ve attended have had a remarkably different character. From Pukkelpop’s sixteen year old infested trashfest I go to Cologne’s c/o pop festival with it’s wanky, arty, upperbrow feel. (Both, however, shared an inordinate number of hot boys in common.) What with my partner in crime not arriving until later today, I have been doing the past two days solo. And I can assure you that it’s a fairly intimidating experience.
You enter the club. It’s a medium sized glass box with a concrete floor, populated by hip Germans in their late 20s, lots of black, square framed glasses going on here. There’s the feeling you crashed some industry get together as there’s not so much a party feel as a Schmoozing with the Somebodies. You imagine an alternate you who had been raised in this city, and could recognise that DJ, this promoter, that radio star, this producer, that music journalist.
You feel like there’s a huge highlighter circle hanging suspended in the air around you – you swear they all know that you’ve come alone. In fact that guy and girl opposite you laughing, surely they’re pointing at you. They’re talking about you, you know it. You sit down on the wooden benches that another group is sitting on. That way you hope to blend in, and to the inattentive eye you could perhaps pass for actually being with them. But at some point the group moves on, and you’re sitting there, so obviously alone, feeling very exposed and vulnerable.
You take out your mobile to send an sms. This is good because not only will you distract yourself from your self-consciousness, people will think you have friends and might be typing “Yo bitch, where are you? I’ve been sitting here for half and hour waiting for you! Get your ass down here.” You’re contemplating whether or not you should go and stand near another group – but then again perhaps someone’s watching you and how pathetic would that look? Even more pathetic than how this looks? Ahh, suddenly a couple sit down next to you and you’re safe again… for now.
You’re beginning to wonder whether the band/DJ/event was really worth this stress when this crazy wonderful song comes on and you don’t give a shit about how you must appear, you’re just happy to be here. Plus it inspires you, and you take a mental note to start up on some brilliant new project the next day. So surely this sort of mental agitation, ticking the creative clock inside of you, was worth it – after all the alternative was late night television in your hotel room. You’re torn between yes and the loud no in your head during the breaks between acts, or before the act that are excruciating and makes you wish you had Harry’s Invisibility Cloak to erase you from the scene.
There is one last element that sometimes plays a part – not always, but sometimes. Some guy/girl starts chatting with you. Like a desperate refugee you flee Alone-Ville and breathe a sigh of relief. But the company can now go to ways. (a) They turn out to be really cool and you have this nutty night where they show you all these local secrets and hell you swear you’ve met your new best friend. (b) They really start to give you the shits, especially when it’s some lonely guy trying to slag on you and now you’re thinking you’d rather be alone than have to exert all the energy required to meet the quota of forced conversation with the guy.
You know what? I don’t think it’s worth it. I’m getting too old to deal with this sort of stress.
Amsterdam
Posted: August 17, 2005 Filed under: BLOG | Tags: amsterdam Comments OffWhen you travel Europe you end up visiting a lot of historical sites, museums and churches. And with each new city you persist in this activity, no matter how tiresome it is becoming because you must begrudgingly admit that the last offered you some fantastic tale, new colour or a whiff of head tweaking magic. Today here in Amsterdam I managed all three, no less.
(1) The historical site: Fellow bloggers might be interested to hear that I visited the home for two years of the most famous diaryist of them all, Anne Frank. I had always loved her book, not only because it tells the extraordinary tale of a group of people forced into hiding to escape the persecution of the Nazis, but because the author is a natural and gifted writer who so honestly shares the pains of adolescence that will be so familiar to all teenage girls, despite Frank’s unusual circumstances.
Must also commend the site for wanting to not only leave the museum as a legacy to her, but explore racism and discrimination in a modern context. The Tentoonstellingen was an interactive game one could play in the last part of the house, which presented several situations from two sides, and at the end asked you to vote on whether maintaining freedom of speech or protection from discrimination was more important. The cases were as diverse from racist slurs at football matches, politicians rights to discuss matters on the minds of the public and the Israeli Palestinian conflict. The voting in the room was often divided and more than once I hesitated as to which button I should press.
(2) The church: While so many of the churches I have visited in Europe feel more like a historical site, what with all the tour groups moving through, snapping away with their digital cameras, the solemn Sint Nicolaaskerk was still being very much used and had a pervading feeling of sacredness. How bizarre to come out of it and be greeted by rows of fat, middle aged women scantily dressed in lingerie, being “sold” in the red lit shop fronts of the legalised brothels, only one street over.
I have been to many contradictory cities, whose borders contain a startlingly diverse range of people, areas and therefore “vibes”. Mexico City and Los Angeles come into mind. But none in such a small and area as Amsterdam. You can basically see the whole thing on foot, bicycle or tram, yet within a 15 minute walk you can go from funky modern art museums to litter strewn hard core red light district through which stoned out tourists weave in and out to uber posh housing along beautiful canals that are dotted with pristine boutique stores.
(3) The museum: While traveling, one becomes more acutely aware of the colour, shape, textures and vibrancy of both the natural land and the constructed environment, as well as how these work together, and with the people who inhabit it. While standing in the Architecture museum (ARCAM), reading the words of great architects who understand the fine art of manipulating physical material and transforming them into beautiful living worlds, it suddenly occurred to me – architecture is simply extraordinary.
It is the foremost art that comes closest to life, a place where innovative, progressive and inspired ideas can make a direct and immediate impact on people’s reality. Changing space, Creating place, has cultural, social, environmental, commercial, political, artistic, and personal impacts! (What other art can claim this?) If one wants to use art (and by this I include philosophy) to change the world, to implement passion, visions, beliefs, desires, it is most effectively done by changing how ordinary people lead daily life. And architecture does this simply by fulfilling its function.
Street scribblings
Posted: August 16, 2005 Filed under: BLOG | Tags: City life Comments OffIt is early on a Sunday morning, nothing is open, and there are few people on the street. I sit on the street in front of a closed gallery, writing these very words. Of the few people who do pass me many are on bicycles (a common mode of transport here in Amsterdam), while some are walking, but all of them dedicate me a curious glance. No doubt most of them write me off as yet another young dumb tourist coming off a particularly strong dosage of magic mushrooms – not such a rare sighting in this city.
In truth, thanks to my 6am flight, I have not slept and am tried, but more urgently – I’m trapped.
A few streets ago a man of about 50, riding a bicycle, slowed to gawk at me as I walked the street (I am not, by the way, dressed unusually) – and not only do this, but slowed to my walking pace, stopped to loiter around me as I inspected the window front, waiting for me, following me. Even after I gave him a glare as I crossed the road, and choosing to ignore him from that point onwards, regularly caught his reflection in the window as I continued up the street.
Followed, followed, followed.
I had finally reached the gallery I was aiming for, and as I read the sign on the door informing me it was closed, once again spied his reflection, but this time riding on past me (although not without a greedy look my way), and hopefully away. I waited here for awhile, to make sure he was gone, and felt annoyed that this fucker obviously had nothing better to do with his day than stalk a jetlagged, freezing, irritated girl.
I was facing the street at this point, contemplating where to go next, when he rode past me yet again. “What do you want?” I spat out. He replied in a rude and mockingly indignant tone, “Nothing”.
And now I sit here, trapped, because as much as I like to feel like I’m strong and don’t give a shit, the idea of going out there, with the (albeit unlikely considering how long I’ve been sitting here) possibility he is still out there ready to resume his silent stalking, sends me shudders.
I watch a handsome boy ride past, laughing at something his girlfriend has said who is perched daintily on the back, and bitterly wonder why they have been bestowed membership to Normal Sphere while I must struggle through the squalor and muck of Freakville. (Later I saw a couple riding side by side on their respective bicycles while holding hands. Now that’s going too far.)
This has been my sole (and note undesired and strongly discouraged) source of company of late – lame, old, lonely men defiling me with their impure leers and forcing onto me banal conversation that barely conceals their animal intentions trembling underneath. How can this be the makeup of my existence? Soulless, shuffling wanderings on the fringes of society, slowly being devoured by these piranhas who circle for those who have strayed from the group.
Do they now recognise me as one of their own?
Liking London
Posted: August 13, 2005 Filed under: BLOG | Tags: london Comments Off
If I was sitting in a cafe with my girlfriends, and they eagerly asked me “So, how’d it go?”, I would be looking down, fingers ripping up a serviette, blushing, as I reply, “I think… I think I really like him.”
And of course by “him” I actually mean “it” and by “it” I actually mean “London”.
I can’t explain the magnetic attraction we Aussies have to London. It doesn’t matter that we know we’ll be burnt by the ridiculous rental costs, the crap pay for crap work and the rainy weather… we’re like moths to a flame.
Am currently reading the new Harry Potter to accompany my time here, which is highly apt. Not only because the story is set in and around London (traveled Charring Cross Road the same day Harry does!) but because Rowling manages to hit the exact same nerve that’s going around here in the story.
The beauty of HP is that her depiction of the Magical World is really her sly parody and dry, witty commentary on our own. (Corruption in the government and media, cultural references like love of celebrity and gossip mags, racism and bigotry.)
In her latest offer, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” the Ministry of Magic have finally admitted that Voldemort has returned, and thus begin putting stringent security measures in place and actively spreading the same sort of “Be Alert” message we are all getting from out governments post 9-11. Fear is everywhere.
Coming into London Airport now, as opposed to before the recent bombing, is no doubt a different experience. The woman who checked my passport asked me so many questions, and I felt a little interrogated. – What are you doing here in London? Why do you have a German working visa? How long are you staying for? Who lives at this address you’ve listed as your residence? etc. etc.
And the trains, of course, have warning stickers about what to do if you see any suspicious people or bags lying around, and there are regular announcements of the same vein.
At the same time, I sort of appreciate these posters and flags that the London mayor have put up reading
7M1LLION
LONDONERS
with the “1″ and “London” in red so that it reads, “7 Million Londeners, 1 London.” And he has a billboard with a quote in which he says something about the fact that these attacks don’t divide the city, and London stands together against them. I’m not so sure if the city actually is so chummy at the moment (To my taxi driver – one of those fabulous black boxy taxis – I commented on how multicultural London is, he replied “maybe a bit too multicultural”) but it’s nice that the government acknowledges the possibility of increased racial tension and encourages the city to stick together.
And here’s a personal warning from me: don’t read Harry Potter if you have something to do in the day, or before you go to bed if you have to wake up early the next day. The book is seriously like a heroin addiction. As soon as you’re on it, damn it’s just so good you can’t stop. You keep telling yourself – the end of this page, the end of the chapter, but then you look over, and you can’t tear yourself away from the tantalising words, and fuck it you go for it. The rest of the world ceases to exist. You don’t want to go out, you don’t want to sleep or eat – Harry and Hermione, and Ron, and the Weasleys, and Dumbledore, and the Order and Hogwarts… that’s all that exists now.
And even when you are off it, you’re counting down the hours until you can just get back on. The worst thing is, it’s finite, you know the story won’t last forever, so you really should pace yourself. But you can’t. You simply can’t.
Also, have put a bunch more photos up, so check them out at my photoblog.
Give me a holiday from my holiday
Posted: August 9, 2005 Filed under: BLOG | Tags: travel headaches Comments OffToday was yet another headache travel day. I seem to be having them with increasing frequency. Imagine having to go through the following every three days, for the past three months…
Must book hostel for tonight in Girona. Look up on net. Nothing listed. Look up in guidebook. Call number. Woman doesn’t speak English. Must ask hostel staff to translate. Hostel staff busy chatting to mate on phone. Wait. Wait. Hostel staff call number for me. Apparently hostel is booked out. Find number for Girona Tourism Office. Call. Successfully organise hostel. Warned that reception closes at 9pm so must arrive before then. Walk to train station. Stand in line at ticket office. Wait. Wait. Wait. Served but staff doesn’t speak English. Appears to be indicating I am in the wrong line. No signage in English, not sure which line to go to. All of them are long. Ask the guy at the info desk. Again no English. Write down Girona today on paper as my poor pronunciation renders it impossible for him to even understand my destination. He holds up fingers saying one or two. Waiting at counter one. Very long line. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Served but told all trains fully booked. FUCK. Walk to internet. Look up buses to Girona. All websites in Spanish. Decide to stay another night in Valencia. Current hostel tells me they’re fully booked for tonight. Look up more hostels on net. Call one. Guy speaks limited English but says he has one bed available. Return to train station. Guessing from sign at original line which has “salida hoy” (aka “leaving today”) – suppose this line no longer applies to me as am not leaving today anymore. Guy behinds me asks in English what this line is for. I tell him I am confused too. He asks a staff member. We are pointed to a room next door. Press button and collect ticket to stand in line. Ticket says “A310″. Board says currently serving “A235″. Sigh. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Guy who asked me question before now comes to talk to me. Doesn’t get the hint when I give my “polite but not interested” tone. Persists very annoyingly in asking questions with weird smile that never leaves his face. Decline his offer to go out afterward for lunch. Wait. Wait. Wait. Am served but all trains to Girona for tomorrow sold out. Only thing available is a 6.40am train to Barcelona and from there make my own way to Girona. Fine, book reservation. Now must get bags from old hostel to new one. Backbreaking 30 minute walk through sweltering heat with lots of fiddly map work. Swear backpack gains weight each minute. Found it. Ooof, carry gear up two flights of stairs. Am greeted – place looks nice. Now told there’s been a mistake. Apparently two guys canceled, so hostel gave me their place, but now they are coming, so no bed available for me. Could have cried. Been feeling like crying a lot of late. Guy tries calling a few hostels for me – they’re all booked. Explains there was a music festival on the weekend in a nearby town, and everyone is staying here tonight to fly out tomorrow (which probably explains booked out trains too.) Just my luck. And I didn’t even get to go to the stupid thing. Finally finds me a bed in a hotel but will cost me 32 euros. Am too drained to care and nod. Although had I have known it would require another 20 minute walk through a dodgy area might have reconsidered.
By now it’s 3pm. Half the day is gone.

