I also don’t think you can automatically rely on a partner either. As I say, it all comes down to the individual. Oh and by the way, along with that Jane-Austen style community comes nosiness, petty jealousies and claustrophobia. Having said that, I would definitely like to have a more neighbourly community where I live. We should bring back the good old-fashioned street party.

Monica, you can come and stay with me whenever you want (well, when I actually have my own place to live that is!) You will always be welcome. Just as long as you remember to turn off the gas!

I would say that I am closer to my bestfriends than my parents are to their bestfriends (well I assume so I suppose).

My other piece of “evidence” is that I find it hard becoming friends (note: MY conception of what a friend should be) here in Argentina, and I put down that down in part to the HUGE emphasis on family here. Actually I did a post on this ages ago….http://heidistar.blogspot.com/2006_09_01_archive.html

Basically, Argentines spend a lot of time with their families (for example good luck trying to get an Argentine to do something on a Sunday….traditionally day of the family) and therefore I find that a lot of them can be rather flippant, “fairweather” friends. So would I ever look after them for 2 weeks? Probably not…well probably but maybe I wouldn’t do it so willingly. That is because they haven’t INVESTED in a friendship with me. Makes it sound like a hedge fund, but you know what I mean.

No, seriously. One of my friends volunteers visiting sick, old gay men with HIV: basically their families have disowned them because they are gay and the “social” death preceding their “actual” death has already set in so their friends have abandoned them (although HIV medication has improved the lot for ppl with HIV apparently lots of people don’t understand this still and prefer to abandon their “friend”). It is said to think that these men have to rely on the altruism of a young guy spending his time visiting them as a “volunteer” rather than a true friend.

On the otherhand, I would question whether this isn’t more of a big city concept. I think there are lots of small towns where folks will help each other out even though they are not family. For examplle, my nan used to live in a really small town called Grenfell and when her best friend’s daughter and son-in-law died from cancer, she helped her friend raise her grandkids. She didn’t live with them or anything, but would help make things for their lunches, take them places if they needed to, babysit when her friend had to do something, etc. And I am sure that if her friend had gotten really sick for example she would have stepped in to help the kids full-time. This is perhaps not the best example because eventually my nan got so frail my family decided she should leave the town and move in with us, but still.

I suppose, as you said, it is hard to tell until the chips actually do fall.