A long pinky nail on a man means what to you

“This topic is becoming very hot,” said my student.

“Mmm, it’s probably better to say, ‘this topic is becoming very popular.’” I corrected.

No doubt he had learned that in informal speech, you could replace the word “popular” with “hot.” But in this case, it sounded strange. And how to explain that while “this topic is becoming very hot” sounded odd, “this is becoming a very hot topic” didn’t? There’s no rhyme or reason – it’s just a feeling one acquires. After many hours, years – a lifetime – of being immersed in English.

And I know, that for the reverse, the same is happening for me. I shoot out words and phrases in Chinese that are total stabs in the dark. Even when I’m grammatically correct, perhaps – completely unbeknown to me – my choice of words sound strange, or evokes a feeling that’s different to what I intended. And the sucky thing is, there’s no way of getting the hang of it except through years of immersion.

And that’s just the language. What about everything else?

Let’s take something small: some Chinese men like to grow the nail of their little pinky long. As someone who’s grown up in a culture where this is uncommon, there’s something jarring, and not very attractive when I see this. I associate long, nicely shaped nails with women, and then the fact there is only one nail on the hand like this – well that’s just confusing.

But for a Chinese, I’m certain they don’t have the same response. For them doing this, and the sight of it, means something else. And even if I was told what that something else is*, I can’t internalise it straight away. I still feel an instinctive sense of dislike, that can only be eroded by years of immersion, when my brain acclimatizes and begins seeing things the way they see things.

And that’s just something small. What about bigger things, like customs, love, family, work, politics, art, big events like the 60th anniversary celebrations? There are a multitude of subtle cues, signifiers, indicators working together that you can only read, on a subconscious level, after being wholly familiar with a culture as a whole. A knowledge of Chinese history plays into understanding the modern day workplace. A knowledge of traditional customs plays into understanding politics. A knowledge of the education system plays into understanding why a certain tragedy happened.

And right now, in terms of understanding these things, I’m 26 years behind a Chinese person.

As one of my favourite “foreigner-in-China” bloggers Uln of Chinayouren writes in his post on why Chinese is the world’s most difficult language:

Anyone living in China long enough realizes how aware Chinese are of their long history and their status as a different civilization. This discourse is irritating for Westerners, because it reminds too much of ultra-nationalistic creeds back home. But it has one essential difference with those creeds: in the case of China, it is true. As we said before, China is justified to see itself as a cradle of civilization, and it is the only such culture that has survived practically independent from World mainstream till modern times. This cultural awareness is the main reason for the preservation of the language as we know it, surviving different regimes and even periods of chaos.

When we study Chinese we are not merely learning another language, we are learning the words of a parallel World, the last independent system of vocabulary and writing that humanity still has. It is the most similar experience available on Earth to learning the language of another planet. If Chinese is really so hard to learn, this should provide enough motivation for anyone to try it.

I came here, foolishly believing I could learn Chinese in one year. Within the space of two weeks, I wrote to my father saying that one year would most definitely turn into two. And now, three months later, I can see that after two years, I will have only a basic grasp of the language. Many more years will be required to be anywhere near a native speaker. And a lifetime would be required to have any hope of truly understanding this place – and I’m not sure if I have a lifetime to give.

And yet, I am not discouraged. From neither trying, nor documenting the process in this blog. That’s the thing about blogs – they stand less for imperative truth, and more for subjective storytelling. Again, I turn to Uln’s about page to eloquently summarise why I’m here, and why I write:

Thousands of foreigners live in China today, and a fair part of them seek to extend their contracts and are in no hurry to leave. There are different reasons for us to stay, from the old dream of the billion customers to the patient, tolerant nature of the locals. But there is one reason that all of us share to some extent: That vague feeling that it matters, that it’s here and now that history of humanity is being written.

Hence the blog’s subtitle: Of China changing the World

I have been in China for over 2 years, enough to understand that I will never really understand this country. But enough also to be completely fascinated by her. I want to give my own point of view of what is going on in China today. It will not be the voice of the expert but I hope I can make it an original, thought-provoking and entertaining read for all who come into my blog.

* The internet, as always has all the answers. The most common answer seems to be that it’s a “status symbol” indicating the wearer doesn’t do manual labour.